- DON’T wear jeans
- DO wear oversized sweaters to hide the delicious brunch that any self-respecting local would consume
- DON’T wash your hair.
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 ripe Hass avocados
2 large red grapefruits
1.) Place the mustard, lemon juice, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Slowly whisk in the olive oil until the vinaigrette gets hazy.
2.) Cut the avocados in half, remove the seeds, and carefully peel off the skin. Cut each half into 4 thick slices. Toss the avocado slices in the vinaigrette to prevent them from turning brown. Use a large, sharp knife to slice the peel off the grapefruits, then cut between the membranes.
3.) Arrange the avocado slices around the edge of your most beautiful platter. Arrange the grapefruit segments in the center. Spoon the vinaigrette on top, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and then, eat it!
2. Do not be too trendy. The couple is likely to keep these pictures forever. You don’t want to be tortured by your past (anymore than you already are) because denim skirts are momentarily “in.”
3. Do not show guests how loose your morals are with your clingy clothing. Single men at weddings are going to pay attention to you even if your toned abs are not glaringly obvious from 25 yards away. A better way to get his attention is to offer to get him a drink.
4. Do not wear white. Every time you see a white dress you like, buy it. Wear that thing to YOUR engagement party, engagement photo shoot, bachelorette party, bridal shower. Luckily, the light spectrum invented colors like emerald and blue that look good on every tramp out there. Double lucky, merchandise in these hues will slap you in the face (in a good way) before you can even park at the mall.
5. Do wear lipstick. Lipstick allows you to distinguish which glass of wine is yours, can make your teeth look whiter if selected properly and allow you to get away with less eye makeup.
6. Do not pile on the eye makeup. You will cry and then look like an idiot with mascara running down your face.
7. If you are not masochistic enough to dance for hours in high-heels, do bring a sophisticated pair of flats to change into. NOT Flip-flops which are kind of gross and will definitely make your well-planned ensemble look cheap. Black ballet flats are a great staple to have.
2 cups water
Sometimes the only clean item in your closet is a dress which is more appropriate for martinis than coffee. To avoid getting unwanted attention, consider layering a conservative top over a cocktail dress to make your style more daytime appropriate.
Voilà! Now it’s a skirt. Also, you can totally do this with a guy’s shirt if you have an impromptu slumber party. (I have never done such a thing. But if I did, it was an accident and a one-time thing.)
Styling tip: Role those sleeves up to avoid looking like a bank teller. Hiding the leather cuffs of this dress is downright shameful.